Red light

So today I found myself surrounded by broken things...Today was the day that all of the changes that have been taking place over the last few months came to a head. I have decided that I am very overwhelmed by it all. I have spent a lot of time in prayer asking for God's wisdom, direction, and for him to bring healing or do a miracle in my life concerning my health and the desire to start a family, daily asking for His guidance and taking steps in the direction that I feel that He is leading. All this to say that I am more unsure now than I was before. I am not sure what He is asking me to do at all, I had faith that only God could bring change into my life, I prayed and claimed things in His name, now standing empty handed I question what it is that He is looking for me to do. I plead, I cry, I get angry, I remain faithful, I allow others into my issues so that God can have the glory when it all works out, I have proclaimed my faith with the situations when it was truly there and when I was unsure, so now what Lord? Now what?

What is it that You want from me? How should you have me pray now? What changes are You bringing? What steps are you planning for me? WHAT?

I know that God is the healer and that nothing is too big or too small for Him I have faith that only HE can change the circumstances in my life, that I have faith for.....but I can not understand why that faith has thus far left me empty handed and heart broken....

I will wait for His direction, and continue to pray with all that I am for the desires of my heart, and no matter what God will have the glory in this!

So God......I am waiting!

What I Have Been Up To and Reviews

I have decided that since I have lots of time on my hands these days I should really be able to share what I am doing with those of you who do not have time to do things. So I am going to give short versions of movies and books that I am reading and also update everyone on things that happen in my days so that you can love vicariously through my blog.

OK so I read Marley & Me, it was good. Not a must read, but an entertaining read. Now I can not wait to see the movie. I like to compare the story lines to see what important parts of the movie people left out. It really is fun you should try it! Anyway, it is a story of a couple that gets a new puppy and the puppy is a handful. They are in love with each other and the puppy and as the family starts to grow and go through things the dog is still a big part of the family and it does a really great job of expressing what it is like to have a dog as a part of the family, not just a pet. If you have ever been attached to a dog, or had a good faithful dog in your life you will identify with the writer as he explains what goes on during the dogs life.

I remembered my dog Sam, she was great. It made me smile, it made some people cry. Not me but some! I give it 4 sticks!

I watched Annie, the 1982 version, again after a long time. I got it for $3.00 at Target. It was as good as I remember it being when I was a kid. I think that it will always bring back good memories for me and that it will be on my favorite list forever. I looked up all the actors on IMDB and none of the kids in that movie went on to do anything else, so if you were curious don't bother looking. i give this 5 Sticks

I recommend everyone getting the game THINGS, or joining me at my house to play it because it is one of the funniest games ever. This also gets 5 Sticks

Ummm....well I had a great Christmas, and a great New year, We went to Knotts to celebrate 2009 and it was foggy, I like to refer to the fog as puff, and that is just what I did all night, in a British accent. The whole trip was a 4 sticker! would have been a 5 stick trip, but the fog blocked the fireworks and the park did not have a potato cheddar soup.

I am sure that I have done other things but I forget!

This morning I woke up went to the bathroom in a daze, felt like I had to sneeze, and because I was in the bathroom alone did not do the best job of covering my mouth, next thing I know the bathroom is covered in blood splatter. It took me a second and the felling of ooze running down my face to realize that I was losing my life juice from my nose. I grabbed some tissue and covered my face, trying to save the precious juice from ruining my clothing. I leaned my head back and headed downstairs to get some paper towel, more absorbent! I had to intermittently check to see if the bleeding was stopped, and eventually it was. I was in such a daze when it happened that I forgot that there was blood all over the bathroom walls until Kevin came home and found it! Sorry!

After that all settled down I checked my e mails and facebook account. made some phone calls to doctors and the insurance company and then started baking for Christmas morning. In between batches I wrapped the last of the gifts and played with the dogs.

Then I realized that I really like my tree and the atmosphere that it brings to the house! It feels like I just put it there and made it cute! That was a disastrous day! My goodness! Sometimes I think that people try to make my life miserable on purpose!

Anyway, so i really love him(the tree) and the lights......if everyone kept their Christmas stuff up all year then it would not be weird.....so who is with me?

We can start a revolution........

Ministry

So i am taking a break from trying to force onto paper all that God has placed on my heart. I am finding that the passion that God has given my for the Youth is expanding. I am starting to see that when you are working with the youth and you are trying to show them that they have a purpose, that they are loved, that they can make a difference, that they can overcome the hard issues that they face, you have to do more then just tell them these things one day a week. Somehow you have to get into their everyday life. I know that I can not be there with them when they go home and go to school and guide them in the right direction and encourage them when they are discouraged, and then build them back up after they have been torn down (although I would like to) I have to get involved with the people that are with them during these times. teachers, siblings, parents, friends, aunts, uncles, whoever it takes......

These are the people that I have to reach out to because they are hurting and they are passing the hurt down the generational lines. Ahhhhh!!!!!!! Now to come up with a plan to get these people reached.......

That is the hard part.......anyone out there that does family ministry? I am looking for some ideas!

WALL-E

So i got to go see WALL-E tonight. I loved it. I think that he is my twin!
Anyway, there was this part....oh if you have not seen it stop reading this! Anyway, so there was a part in the movie, after you discover how WALL-E longed for affection and companionship, that his new friend shut down (they are robots) anyway, when she shuut down he did not understand and he tried to protect her, and keep her comfortable all the while draging her shell around with him where ever he went. It was so funny all the things that he went through to be the best friend that he could be without understanding what he was supposed to do.
Later in the movie she sees everything that he did for her while she was shut down and she realizes how great of a friend he is.

I just thought that it was neat becuase even though she was not aware of all he did until way later, he still did it, not knowing what the outcome would be.

there are really two ways of looking at this.....

One, Sometimes even when we do not see it, God is moving and doing things in our lives that is for our good. We may not see it or understand it until way later.....that is why it is important to remember that in times when we "shut down" and thank God for all he is doing.

two, is that sometimes we need to recognize that there are others that are "Shut down" and they need us to help them out. keep them safe, and wait by their side without expecting them to understand. I think it makes it easier for them to see God in it all and later they will see the big picture and really be moved by what was done. That is what matters most.

Also there were animated fat people in that move.....very funny!

Tummy Time

So my niece and I had tummy time together on Sunday. She was not as grumpy as she normally is when she has tummy time so she did not do the Cirque Du Soliel thing that I love! Anyway, I got some really cute pictures of her...!
I really love Lily. Not as much as her mommy and daddy love her I am sure but I take a close second....I am so excited that she is here and i was so excited to have the family over this weekend. At one point during her tummy time she was making these cute little noises and everyone came over to see her and we all ended up laying on the floor around her, Me, Mom, bekah, Tyson, Erin, Dad, and Aunt Patty. I wish Jimmy was there...It was just so great to have all of us together in awe over Lily! (the newest addition to the clan).
I think that family is so strange. My sister and I were never very close when we were gr owning up, I mean I would kick the crap out of anyone that treated her bad, but we never had a relationship really. It was always me and Jimmy. Now a days, Jimmy and I are still close and we always will be...I wouldn't trade a moment that I have had with him for anything...not even when he bit me when he was 13 and had adult jaws, or the times that we spent riding our bikes and he would inch closer and closer to me until I would almost hit parked cars. Those are things that I love about my brother....I will write another blog about twin days when that gets closer! Jimmy knows what I'm talking about.
But lately it has been different. Sometimes I just need a girl in my life that is not my mom...love you mommy!
When Bekah moved back into town I was happy but we were still not close and I felt like I did not know her.
In recent days I think that we have gotten a lot closer. I spent time with her before Lily was born getting her room ready and i got to throw her baby shower. I was honored! I really am excited to have a sister in my life. turns out we have a lot in common. And everyone says that we have the same voice. HA HA for all you people that think my voice is annoying! There is two of us!
Anyway, I have started rambling again so I will wrap this up. I just wanted to say that I love my family and I am glad that we are all close because I am looking forward to making memories with them!

Randomness asArielle would say.

So today was eventful….I mopped the floor and had a meeting with the pastor’s wife to go over Foursquare stuff….she is coaching me to get my pastors license. We went to saxby’s this morning….I had a grasshopper and she had the chunky monkey….blended! Both were really good, I tried to tase hers without the straw and when I was pouring it into my mouth the whole thing slid down the cup and hit me in the face…..that was fun.
I saw Lily yesterday. I love her, she has a cute little double chin. So squishy!
I am sleepy and it is only 10:00 in the evening. Oh well!
I have not blogged in a log time. I really thought that I would have more to write about and I think about stuff all the time but then I forget.
This week I was having a conversation with one of my employees about how to say the word raisin in Spanish, I ask everyone I know including Mexican people and people who speak Spanish and no one knows…I call them Uva Muertas, that means dead grape! I think that is as close as I am going to get. Anyway, my employee had taken French so I asked if he knew what the word for raisin was in French…he had no idea. So I asked if he wanted to know how to say it in German…he said sure so I yelled RAISIN at him. I liked it.
So later this week we were walking through the halls in the executive area and there was a meeting going on, doors are wide open and he starts giggling and I ask him what and guess what he did…That’s right he yelled RAISIN! Loudly! All the executives had to have heard him and some of them looked out at him….I left him in the hall!
He also said Dinky when he read the DKNY logo in one of the stores….
My mom was trying to tell me about shoes that she liked this one time and she said dcshoecousa all as one word. She actually pronounced all that instead of thinking about that word logically and saying…there is no way they expect people to say that word like that so what am I missing.
That is why I love my mommy….hi mommy!
Next time I write I promise it won't be random