Monday, February 2, 2009

Red light


So today I found myself surrounded by broken things...Today was the day that all of the changes that have been taking place over the last few months came to a head. I have decided that I am very overwhelmed by it all. I have spent a lot of time in prayer asking for God's wisdom, direction, and for him to bring healing or do a miracle in my life concerning my health and the desire to start a family, daily asking for His guidance and taking steps in the direction that I feel that He is leading. All this to say that I am more unsure now than I was before. I am not sure what He is asking me to do at all, I had faith that only God could bring change into my life, I prayed and claimed things in His name, now standing empty handed I question what it is that He is looking for me to do. I plead, I cry, I get angry, I remain faithful, I allow others into my issues so that God can have the glory when it all works out, I have proclaimed my faith with the situations when it was truly there and when I was unsure, so now what Lord? Now what?


What is it that You want from me? How should you have me pray now? What changes are You bringing? What steps are you planning for me? WHAT?


I know that God is the healer and that nothing is too big or too small for Him I have faith that only HE can change the circumstances in my life, that I have faith for.....but I can not understand why that faith has thus far left me empty handed and heart broken....


I will wait for His direction, and continue to pray with all that I am for the desires of my heart, and no matter what God will have the glory in this!


So God......I am waiting!